“You and I have a special talent,and I saw it immediately. We’re the substitute people. I’ve been the substitute person my whole life.

Claire from the movie Elizabethtown

In reviewing the movie Angus, Roger Ebert remarked that if you watch movies long enough, eventually you’ll see your life up on the screen. I’ve had a few movies that did that for me. Some silly like Old School, and some that hit close to home such as Sideways. But this exchange from the movie Elizabethtown truly hit me like a ton of Bricks. This was it. This captured a feeling I’ve had my whole life. I was a substitute person. A second choice. Someone people “settled” for. » Read the rest of this entry «

“Run your fingers through my soul. For once, just once, feel exactly what I feel, believe what I believe, perceive as I perceive, look, experience, examine, and for once; just once, understand.”

Ever known a beautiful woman who had no idea she was beautiful? If so you know a woman like Anna. When she walked into my office for the first time she was biting her nails and shuffling her feet back and forth, but clearly behind the nervous façade there was a truly beautiful woman. Still, as a therapist it wasn’t my job to worry about what she looked like, and I asked her to sit down so we could se what it is she wanted to accomplish. » Read the rest of this entry «

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

Marianne Williamson

David was a prisoner. That was the way he described himself anyway. A neatly-dressed Black man in his 30’s, he was new to therapy and was admittedly a little uncomfortable about the process. He described himself as a prisoner of his own weight, and how it had kept him from being happy for as long as he could remember. » Read the rest of this entry «

“Real courage is risking something that you have to keep on living with, real courage is risking something that might force you to rethink your thoughts and suffer change and stretch consciousness. Real courage is risking one’s cliches.”
Tom Robbins

I include both of these stories to demonstrate how closely our own issues can overlap with the people that come into therapy. I know that I am effective sometimes because I have stumbled into a lot of the same dark rooms as my clients and fallen down a lot of the same stairs. » Read the rest of this entry «